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Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Relationships are complex and, unfortunately, most people will experience a toxic relationship during their life, whether that be a romantic relationship, a relationship with a family member or a friendship. Toxic relationships can be incredibly damaging to anyone involved, so it’s important to familiarise yourself with the signs of a toxic relationship so you can look out for yourself and others. 

What is a toxic relationship?

How do you define a healthy relationship? A healthy relationship doesn’t mean that everything just works out perfectly, but when two people are together and happy with each other’s company (regardless of a few bumps on the road), they tend to be in a strong bond. In a healthy relationship, the relationship is built on respect, trust and affection, the three core components of a healthy romantic relationship.

On the other hand, a toxic relationship is entirely the opposite. In an unhealthy bond, two people are always uncomfortable with each other. Instead, they are happier and more relaxed when they are not together. Although there may still be love in the relationship, the relationship can make you feel drained and consist of disagreements and a lack of respect.

While both toxic and healthy relationships have significant differences, a very thin line separates them, which is often crossed without anyone realising. Every relationship is different, but there are some key traits of a toxic relationship we often see. 

12 signs of a toxic relationship

Some signs of toxic relationships are easier to see than others, and you may be experiencing or even demonstrating toxic behaviours without even realising. 

Are you in a bond where there is constant conflict and disrespect for each other? For example, perhaps you are unable to find your relationship fun anymore, and there are endless arguments between you and your partner. In that case, you might be in a toxic relationship. 

Before things get worse, it is essential to identify the signs and consult the best divorce law experts, Austin Kemp Solicitors, for some fruitful advice. A relationship can turn toxic at any point during a relationship, whether that’s in the early dating stages or years into marriage. Below, we’ve included a list of 12 different signs that can help you identify the nature of your bond with your partner. 

Persistent unhappiness

Marriage is often associated with feelings such as joy, fun, partnership and love. However, in some cases, many people find themselves constantly unhappy. 

In a toxic relationship, the feelings of joy are often replaced by anxiety, sadness and anger, which is hard to live with. Many people struggle with sharing their good moments and achievements with their partners, which eventually pull both parties apart.

If you don’t feel happy being around your partner, and both of you often fight and argue with each other, it is about time you label this relationship as toxic rather than healthy. In an unhealthy bond, every conversation has an element of complaint and regrets. Besides, there is no respect for each other’s point of view, and the feeling of “happiness” is nowhere to be found. 

Every person deserves happiness, both inside and outside of relationships, so it is important to prioritise your happiness in a relationship.

Lack of connection

Taking the above point forward, do you often realise that you have so many things to share, but you cannot start a conversation with your partner? Do you feel a certain degree of hesitance or anxiety when sharing your concerns with the person you have chosen to marry? Have you stopped sharing your achievements or fears with the person you love because they don’t appreciate your words anymore?

If yes, there is an apparent lack of connection between you two that might have built over time. You might not have realised, but it may have started with a simple argument and built up to the point that you don’t find any connection with your other half. 

This, again, is a significant sign of a toxic relationship. Many people try to overcome it by taking a break or spending more time with each other. However, in most cases, a lost connection doesn’t build again, and the only way out is by taking a professional’s help. 

Decrease in support

A successful relationship and marriage involve your partner accepting your past, supporting your present, and promising to be with you to help you encounter all the challenges in the future. There should be a mutual desire for you both to succeed in all areas of your life, together and separately. 

When a relationship becomes toxic, achievements convert into a competition, and the time spent together doesn’t feel positive, nor do you feel encouraged or supported.

Instead, you might sense that your needs and interests don’t hold any value or importance in your partner’s life, they only care about what they want. 

Problematic envy and jealousy

A little envy in a relationship once in a while isn’t quite harmful. On the contrary, it encourages growth and acceptance and is also great for overcoming challenges. However, if you find your partner continuously jealous of your achievements, or if envy keeps you from feeling happy for their successes, this is an issue.

Consistent jealousy can lead to a damaged relationship, which can’t be fixed even after you put in all your effort. While being envious is normal, it can result in constant mistrust and suspicion if not taken care of. 

Suppose you got promoted to a higher position at work. Instead of being happy and content for you, if your partner shows no sense of support or love, you should take that as jealousy and must consult a professional lawyer for help. This is important to prevent this toxic feeling from becoming something very harmful. 

Controlling behaviour

Neither you nor your partner has the right to question each other’s actions or whereabouts. A relationship that doesn’t allow a specific type of liberty isn’t worth keeping. 

This can look like being faced with questions that reflect your partner’s controlling behaviour. For example, do you often feel that your partner gets annoyed when you forget to text them back or fail to reply to their questions? 

If yes, your partner might have a particular controlling behaviour that may harm your relationship. Here are some other common signs of controlling behaviour:

  • Managing your money
  • Threatening you
  • Enforcing their beliefs on you
  • Make sure that your point of view is considered unworthy
  • Ensuring that they know all your actions
  • Demanding access to your personal belongings such as mobile devices

Unfortunately, at times, your partner’s controlling behaviour might seem like a threat, and you may choose to stay in the unhappy relationship with a fear of losing your relationship or putting you or your loved ones in danger.

Controlling behaviour can also come about due to past events, like adultery or lying from either you or your partner as this can destroy trust, a vital element of a healthy relationship. This, however, is no excuse for controlling behaviour, and if you are unable to get past a past event, you may need to call time on your relationship.

It is impossible to change the controlling behaviour of your partner, especially if it hasn’t been catered to from the very start. However, you can always contact solicitors to control the situation and plan your escape from this unhappy bond. 

Regular lying

Dishonesty and frequent lying can shake the foundation of an honest relationship. They can easily erode credibility, regardless of how small their value might be. 

Whenever your partner lies to you, it signifies that they don’t trust you enough to share the actual matter. Moreover, they might lack respect for you, considering you unworthy of care or honesty. 

Habitual lying can make things worse for both of you. It indicates that your partner might be more into themselves than you or this relationship. Also, if your partner doesn’t stop this habit, know that they could be hiding something much bigger and that nothing but only a one-to-one conversation or external guidance can help sort this problem. 

Negative behaviour towards finances

A good marriage only survives when you and your partner share mutual agreements on finances. However, if suddenly your partner disagrees with sharing their earnings with you or disrespects the initial deal, you might struggle to maintain the bond. 

At times, you might also find your partner constantly breaking the rules of the agreement, for example, by either making expensive purchases or buying items that you may not need. In that case, know that this is actual toxicity and should be handled practically rather than emotionally. 

Expectations without returns

In a toxic relationship, you may put the needs of your partner before your own and forget about self-care and love.

Do you often find yourself looking for ways to satisfy your partner and not getting anything in return? If you constantly think about what makes your other half happy but ignore your own needs, you might be heading towards building a toxic relationship

There is no harm in being considerate and taking care of the needs of people you love. But constantly delaying your requirements to fulfil theirs may not be a good thing for your own peace of mind. Moreover -regardless of you doing things way above their expectations-your partner is definitely toxic if you aren’t getting any appreciation or even some kind words in return. 

Here are some common indications of a one-sided relationship:

  • You always message first.
  • Your partner sends you a reply after long gaps.
  • The conversation between you two is always choppy.
  • The division of responsibilities and labour is unequal.
  • You give up activities or hobbies that you once loved, as your partner disapproves

Constantly stressed and drained

There are many reasons that can stress you out, for example, an illness or pressure at work. But if you feel constantly drained while just being home with your partner and have no problem from outside, there could be something off within your relationship.

Ongoing stress is not only bad for your mental state, it can also gradually take a toll on your physical health, making even the basic tasks quite challenging. As a result, you may feel miserable all the time and might choose to stay alone instead of living with anyone else. 

Similarly, a drained body isn’t relatively healthy, and continuing living in a toxic relationship can make you feel tired all the time. You might be wasting lots of hours and energy fulfilling the unhealthy demands of your partner without realising that your body might be giving up on you. Constant catering to toxicity can also lead to severe sleep issues and unnecessary health problems. 

Continuous resentment

Do you hold grudges in your heart and let them build up until they chip away any intimacy you might have in your relationship? Living in a toxic bond for a long time can increase resentment and frustration, building up the dislike you might have for your partner or their qualities

Moreover, also note whether you nurse your grieving state yourself or your partner helps you with the process. In a toxic relationship, many people prefer dealing with their frustration themselves rather than speaking them out with a person who might make things worse for them. 

Lost relationships

When a person is involved in a toxic relationship day and night, they might forget to stay in touch with the family and friends that genuinely care for them. This usually happens to prevent any conflict with the current partner or to save themselves from the questions of people who might want to know about their relationship. 

Unfortunately, this is the worst thing to do, especially if your family is concerned about you. Pushing away your friends and family members from your life can result in you having no support to deal with a toxic partner. 

Making excuses for your partner’s behaviour

Do you often find yourself defending your partner’s bad behaviour in front of your family or friends, or even yourself? That’s what many people do to satisfy their inner self that the marriage is still healthy. However, the truth is often different. 

A relationship that forces you to ignore the truth and curate excuses for someone’s unacceptable behaviour is quite toxic. Unfortunately, very few people change with time, but if you still hope for a miracle, know that it can only happen with the intervention of a professional, such as a lawyer, that can advise you on your next actions according to your relationship status. 

Can you fix a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is unfortunately much more than a ‘rough patch’, and is usually a long-lasting recurrence of toxic behaviours and patterns. However, if both partners recognise the toxicity, on their part and are willing to change with healthy communication, it could be possible to save your relationship. 

On the contrary, if just one person shows a willingness to change and accept their part in the relationship, it is very unlikely that you will be able to turn a toxic relationship around. The blame game never works and some behaviours such as control and lying are more difficult to change.

Toxic relationship help

If your relationship shows even one indication mentioned above, know that you are in a toxic bond, and it isn’t good for your mental and physical health. Toxicity ruins one’s physical appearance and harms the thinking capabilities and other brain functions of the victim as well. 

No one should live with a partner who doesn’t accept and appreciate them for who they are. And so, it is vital to take action as soon as you realise the value of your relationship.

To deal with a toxic relationship practically, take help from Austin Kemp Solicitors. You can reach out to us at mail@austinkemp.co.uk or contact number 0333 311 0925. 

Final takeaway

Everyone wants to stay in a happy relationship. However, sometimes things don’t turn out as you wish them to, and the toxicity of your partner takes over your happiness. Identifying the signs of a toxic relationship and taking responsible actions is necessary to save yourself from an unhealthy body and mind. 

If you face any of the above signs in your life, don’t hesitate to look after yourself and consult a professional to find a way out. Here’s wishing you all the best!

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28th March 2022

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