However, there are some ways to keep this stress to a minimum:
Divorce is difficult. The legal side adds an additional administrative aspect to your life, that you now need to make time for. In order to reach a financial settlement with your spouse, you will need to fully disclose your finances, which can take time and effort.
Then there is the emotional pressure that goes ‘hand in hand’ with the end of a relationship, with your spouse no longer there to shoulder the burden with you.
Counselling can help you to deal with the emotional side of your divorce, putting you in a better position to look at the financial aspects of your divorce in a more objective way. Talking to friends and family can also help.
You know your children best. How much you should tell them about your divorce is a very personal choice. However, children tend to become more stressed (and may even blame themselves) if they do not know what is happening or feel that you may be keeping things from them.
Sit them down with your spouse, if possible and explain to your children that you are getting a divorce but that it is not their fault. Be prepared for questions. There are many good resources available online to help you, including this ‘Telling the children’ page from Relate.
Consider what you want from your settlement and what you are willing to compromise on. Having an understanding about what you expect with regards to the financial settlement, can provide a good starting point for negotiations. Consider what a court of law might decide if you asked them to determine your financial settlement. A good solicitor should be able to talk you through this.
Obtaining legal advice as early on as possible in the process, can help to make your divorce less stressful. Just because you speak to a solicitor, it does not mean that you have to go ahead with your divorce. Getting advice from a solicitor can help you to understand what you could expect to happen with things such as your family home, your investments or the family business, helping to put your mind at rest.
Getting a divorce will always come with some elements of stress. Take some time out to do something you enjoy, even if it is only for half an hour a week. Try and remember that this is just a difficult period in your life that you will get through.
For more information on how to make your divorce less stressful please visit our Legal Library.
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